no JAMB questions please
The cool dude
Imagine you’re a lady trying to recount your experience with this annoying dude – or maybe not as annoying as your as your account is about to make him appear but annoying all the same – your story’s intro would probably be somewhere along the lines of So, he saw me on the road one day… The road in this case might have been for you the beach or the bar or even the retail shop. I for one have always been particularly tickled by the idea of a total stranger walking up to me on the street and showering compliments freely that I might otherwise have had to work really hard to squeeze out of my big brother ( if you have an older brother or a big brother figure you would understand that it is no simple task) although if you happen to be the poor lad at the other end then you’ll get no such indication in fact, quite the opposite, you’ll probably feel like a six year-old boy who has come to school without his homework and has to face his “old schoolmarm”teacher (you know, that “I’m about to pee in my pants” feeling). Don’t get me wrong, I’m not in any way referring to the “zombie-stalker type” but to the young man with enough self-confidence so as to walk up to a young lady at the risk of losing of all dignity or social status in the eyes of the world (which usually happens to be his group of goofy friends watching from a distance and cheering him on).
I can’t quantify how much joy it gave me to discover the song “JAMB Question” by Simi. As an authentic music lover, this song was “it” for me. It simply had it all, I suddenly could understand what art enthusiast got from staring for hours at random lines on paper which supposedly have deeper meanings and significance. To me, more than being a song, it is a document of history, the most authentic record of “The average Nigerian dude’s pick up lines in the 21st century”. I’m sure you can agree with me that across seas and across the ages the archetypical “cool dude” has always existed and with him, the pick up line. The song JAMB Question by Simi is a simple but classy song that is more or less a young lady’s plea to a guy who is trying to chat her up but who happens to have all the wrong words begging him to stop asking her foolish questions. The word JAMB refers to the body responsible for the examinations required for entrance into any Nigerian university, more or less the Nigerian equivalent of SAT and the phrase JAMB question – a common slang popular amongst young Nigerians – has become the ultimate umbrella encompassing various categories of questions deemed stupid ( existential, more complex than required, irrelevant) and unworthy of answers.
The unique vocal quality of the artiste is one that does justice to the song’s lyrics and rhythm and serves as a magnet pulling the unsuspecting individual within its force field to itself with a strong invitation to listen to what the song has to say. The video is also in a class of its own as the fashion style on exhibit as well as the setting is a breath of fresh air from the current trend adopted by Nigerian music artistes of shooting music videos outside Nigeria or in Lagos or Abuja which while being beautiful Nigerian cities are not all of what Nigeria has to offer. An added strength of the song is the slight tinge of humour in the choice of words as well as a small skit at the tail end of the video where the “cool dude” who’s role is played by Nigerian rapper/comedian Falz finally gives a reply claiming that the sight of her (the young lady complainant) was one that blew him away and left him completely mesmerized hence his inability to act rationally.
And so the song which is a combination of Nigerian Pidgin English, Yoruba and proper English begins thus; Na so he see me for road one day…
Now here’s a feel of what I’ve been saying, you don’t have to imagine anymore because now, it gets real, enjoy!!!